Revenge Stories

Hello! Please read these 6 petty revenge stories and vote each of them, your vote will help me to determine which post(s) will be published on the Tumblr blog. Thanks for your time and help :)

Story #4: A semi-nerdy jerk insulted my nerd knowledge knowledge.

Once when I was with my sister at an indoor trampoline park a few years back. One of the monitors that worked there at the time noticed that I was wearing a superhero shirt (Superman, I think). He then proceeds to ask, “In the Point Break timeline, who is the Joker?”

Now, being a fan of DC and knowing a great deal about it, I tried to convince him that there was no such reality, story, or dimension known “Point Break.” He then says that the Joker in this supposed reality is Martha Wayne (Batman’s mom). He starts dissing me and saying that I’m not a real fan. I keep my stance, knowing that there is no such thing as Point Break in DC (the only thing even slightly similar to that that has to do with DC was a limited series called Point Blank that was published by DC’s Wildstorm imprint).

Angry, I go to another part of the place with my sister (who is also a DC nerd). We then realize that he was referring to Flashpoint, a limited series where Martha Wayne was, indeed, the Joker. I regained my confidence and marched over to where he was overtly flirting with a girl who was pretty much ignoring him (remember her for later).

I then ask him specific questions from Flashpoint (what was the cause, what were the repercussions, who was Batman in this reality, etc.). He’s clueless (because he only knows of this supposed Point Break garbage).

I then ask him random questions about DC, including, but not limited to, “Who is Quislet (An energy-composed being that is a member of the Legion of Super-Heroes)?” “What is the name of the kingdom that Amethyst rules over (It’s Gemworld)?” and “Who was on the original Teen Titans team (Robin, Kid Flash, Aqualad, Donna Troy, and Speedy)?”

He’s completely clueless because it’s obvious that he’s never actually read a comic and only watches reviews and summaries on YouTube. However, the girl that he was making passes at turns and stares at me. She looks at him (who’s about 30 or so), and looks back at me (I was only about 11 at the time). I’m not sure what she’s about to do, but I soon find out.

She then answers every single question in vivid detail. She then asks me questions (which I answer). She, my sister, and I then walk away, being all nerdy, while leaving the jerk behind, sans future girlfriend and pride.

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Story #5: The Penalty Hold

My dad taught me this one.

You know when a driver behind you is driving waaaaayyy too close to you, dangerously tailgating you, maybe even making you feel a bit uncomfortable? Especially those times when (let’s be real) you’re over the speed limit a little? And this has been going on for blocks? Doesn’t that just annoy the sh*t out of you??

I present to you, ladies and gentlemen, The Penalty Hold!

In the block or two before I make my turn I take my foot off the gas to start slowing down, usually this gets me to just at the speed limit. Not unreasonable, but you better believe the idiot behind me is bothered by it. As I turn on my signal (safety first) I apply the brakes GENEROUSLY. I mean I slow down a lot, more so than is necessary. For reference if I’m performing The Penalty Hold in a 40 mph zone you can bet I’ll be at 25 by the time I make my turn.

With all this I’ve caused the person maybe 4 second’s delay. So petty. So satisfying.

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Story #6: If you’re gonna be rude to your cashier, don’t expect them to go the extra mile for you.

I work at a Starbucks in a ritzy suburb near Chicago. It being a nicer area, most of our morning customers are generally yoga moms or business people on their way to work in the city. Many of them are regulars, and most are very nice people, but every once in a while we get a bad apple, and it’s generally one of the rich folk who’s too good to treat a barista like a person. This morning, I got the pleasure of serving one such man.

I was cashiering, and he waltzed up to the register in a full suit, entirely absorbed in his very important phone call. I gave him the routine cheery “Good morning,” and, without even making eye contact, he responded with a cold “medium coffee,” and was already inserting his card into the reader. I read back his order and asked if he wanted room for cream, but he either didn’t hear me (y’know, because of the extremely important phone call he was on), or thought he could just ignore me, because he just continued staring at the card reader. Fine by me. I got his coffee for him and handed it over wordlessly, as he was clearly not interested in conversation. As soon as he had his hands on the coffee he was strolling away – however, as I’ve mentioned, his attention was taken by this vitally important phone call, and I noticed right away that he’d left his card inside the reader. Normally if a customer does this, I’d call after them to be sure they retrieved it, but he seemed a very busy man, and I would have hated to interrupt his phone call. I waited til he was out the door to snatch up the card and stow it behind the counter, where it waited for his return about four hours later. It made my day! Next time, hang up the phone, or if you must stay on the line, at least be courteous to the people serving you.

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